Sometimes, I believe that I’m cursed, just like in the medieval days. It sounds a bit silly when I say it out loud, but it feels like no matter how hard I try to be kind or helpful, it’s never enough. All that’s left for me to do is remove an arm or a leg and give it to someone in need of an arm or a leg. And I’m not even sure why someone would need either, but you understand where I’m going with this.

I will admit that I’m sometimes not the greatest person to be around and there are times when I’m not all that helpful, but it’s not like I don’t feel terrible for not helping when I can’t. Life gets in my way sometimes and I get lost in a world of my own.

People don’t understand though, and I feel like no matter how much I do, instead of hearing, “Thank you for trying”, I only hear complains and unhappiness.

When I’m in these situations, all I can think is, “I’m never like this to people, why are people like this to me?” It’s something I can’t wrap my head around, I will never say something shitty to someone and make them feel like a turd for the rest of their life. I think about what I want to say so that it won’t hurt someone or mess with their mental health issues further.

I was in a seven-year relationship where I was emotionally abused, so I get it, you don’t do it.

That’s why I feel cursed, I’m incapable of being mean like other people are and no matter how good or nice I am to people, they find it super easy to be absolute shit to me.

As persecutory as it sounds, I’m going to go have a 2007 Britney moment one day and just start filming people being shit. Might even shave my hair too. Maybe if I have a full-on breakdown everyone will get it, no I’m joking I don’t have time for that right now.